Saturday, March 24, 2007

Ramblings

It's funny how when I was in Malaysia. time seems to be at still and I resisted change. It was a fight for the mundane. All goals and dreams were left in a jar on the top shelf, sealed. Everyday that passed me by seemed to be just another day, yesterday felt a minute ago and a year ago felt like only yesterday. Those many years of living life like a protected hermit felt short. I guess I felt that way was due to the fact that nothing every changes. When a long lost friend asks, "how's life?" the usual answer is ."The same. Nothing changes."

Malaysian lifestyle and weather made sure that nobody moves at a faster pace. Why do I say that? Well, after 2 1/2 years in America, I can say that my life has taken a drastic change. There is definitely a sense of time here. For one, there is seasons change and also, there the people here are more hurried than Malaysians. No more 'tidak apa' attitude. No more "cannot-lah" when met with a problem. Services here are better than our rude culture. I suppose in a "happy-sue" country, one has to watch his/her back all the time.

Education here is definitely...how should I put it, different, than Malaysian education. Having gone to two art colleges/U in KL had not been a waste I must admit, but really, that was all there is to it. Schools in Malaysia are trying to churn out workers for the blooming industry without encouraging critical thinking. Do as you are told, get good grades, get out of school, get a job, get married, buy a house and a car, have two children, grow old, retire, die happy. Die happy. Die happy?? Really??? How mediocre.

Well I guess a lot of Malaysians wouldn't be naive and mediocre if our media weren't as censored and controlled. Any displeasure with the way we are governed is hushed or frowned upon. Seriously, ask any students, or even adults any contemporary issues, be it politics or anything important at all, they will mostly have nothing much to say. "let sleeping dogs lie" they say. "As long as I am not affected, I don't care. Better not to get into any trouble by voicing out." Trouble? Yeah, unrestrained censorship in Malaysia does not only affect the arts, but also our lifestyle and mentality. So let things be the way they are, live your life the "proper" way, that one way we were taught to live without questioning or doubting the authority. So, back to my point that nothing ever changes. But I escaped that, I have changed, and I will continue to. I don't want to remain a naive unquestioning lemming. I want to be a concious entity; unrestrained, uncensored and ever changing.